Unreasonable Expectations of Motherhood

Being a mom is one of the greatest joy’s of my life. I have three girls and it still seems like yesterday they were all little, pretending to be mommies with their baby dolls and now two of them have babies of their own. I can so relate to the Father of the Bride scene when Steve Martin looks across the table at his grown daughter and all he sees in that moment is his 3 year old baby girl with her adorable smile and pig tails staring back at him. If you are a young mom, that moment will be here quicker than you think. I had my first child when I was 25 years old, and I remember being a young mom and putting so many expectations on myself to do everything right. I realized pretty quickly that there were going to be many mistakes along the way, and it took me many years to learn that God didn’t put those expectations on me and He didn’t intend for me to be the perfect mom. He already knew I was going to fall short and yet, He still chose me to be the mom of my girls in spite of my shortcomings. 

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard."

Romans 3:23 NLT

One memory of "a mom fail" that sticks out in my mind is an incident that happened one evening after I had worked all day and picked up the girls from daycare. My husband was in school at the time, studying abroad and we had moved away from family, so I was trying to juggle things on my own and do it well. On this particular evening, I had just finished getting the girls fed and bathed, I walked into the bathroom and my youngest had climbed up on the bathroom sink and she had my red lipstick all over her face everywhere. My first reaction was anger and frustration and I immediately snapped at her and gave her a spanking. And then, regret washed over me and all I saw was this adorable little girl with tears streaming down her face and it melted my heart. I ran and grabbed my camera and took a picture of her. Although we can laugh about it today, it was not a very proud mom moment for me in how I reacted. Maybe there is an incident that you are thinking about, that if given the opportunity, you would have responded differently. With God’s help, I have learned to release those failures over to the Lord and ask Him to take my messes and turn them into good. God is the only perfect parent.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28 NIV

"All your children shall be taught by the LORD,

And great shall be the peace of your children."

Isaiah 54:13 NKJV

We can easily compare ourselves to other mom’s in our circle or on social media who appear to have it all together. We know deep down that there is no such thing as a perfect mom, but the enemy can tempt us into measuring ourselves against all the wrong things instead of using God’s Word as our measuring stick. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly (Col 3:16). And whenever you hear that nagging voice that says, “you’re not good enough,” speak truth to yourself. God created you for this very moment.

"There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free

from the law of sin and death."

Romans 8:1-2 NIV

The enemy is the only one who speaks condemnation to us. 

Make motherhood your greatest ministry. I have found that God uses our marriages and motherhood to help mold, shape, and refine us into the women He created us to be. Lean into what He is trying to teach you and allow Him to use it for good in your life. Always point your children to the Gospel and show them the heart of Jesus in your parenting. Your littles will one day grow up and have their own families. Decide now what kind of ripple effect you want to pass on to the next generation. God can use YOU to make a difference for eternity!

"And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about

them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are

going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and

wear them on your forehead as reminders.

Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

 Deuteronomy 6:6-9 NLT

Prayer Points:

• Ask God for wisdom and ask Him to teach you how to be the mom that He created you to be. Not the perfect mom, but the best you can be and leave the rest up to Him. We can do nothing without Him. He is for YOU and wants you to ask for His Help! (Psalm 25:25)

• Give your failures and past regrets over to the Lord. Ask Him for forgiveness and be quick to ask your children for forgiveness as well, where it is needed. Your children will learn that mom is not perfect and neither are they and we all need a Savior. You will model to them what repentance looks like and show them that God can redeem your mistakes and turn them into good. (Psalm 86:5)

• PRAY, PRAY, PRAY about everything!! Leave nothing to chance! God knows our children better than we do and He knows what they have need of. Give them continually over to Him! (Phil 4:6)

Dear Father in Heaven, Thank You for the gift of being a mom. Thank You for choosing me and entrusting me with the children that You have given me. Teach me how to be the mom You created me to be and show me how to love them and pray for them. You know my children better than me, and You know what they have need of. Give me a heart full of wisdom and make me more like You so that my children see You in me. Forgive me when I stumble and make up where I fall short. I ask You, Father, to turn all things into good, even the things I am not proud of. Thank You that You make all things new and there is nothing that You can’t redeem or restore. Your Word says that, “No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11). Help me to walk after You all the days of my life and pass that on to my children and grandchildren. I surrender them over to You!

In the Name of Jesus, I pray. 

Amen

Stacey Brown

Mid-Way Baptist Church

Flourish Women's Ministry

www.mid-way.com/women